Stage 1 – Before I got knocked out…
I worked at a large consulting company since college, and work was everything to me. I worked for weeks and everything else fell by the wayside. Friends, family, health, time for yourself. All that mattered was meeting the deadline in working on the project. It just consumed me. The environment, the pace, the prestige. I liked it. I felt really good. Sometimes it is also called the rat race. One climbs the ladder higher and higher. It's such a game. You're just playing by someone else's rules. And voluntarily. Which is actually fascinating. The fact that we give all our life energy and time to someone we don't even know. In exchange for status and money. And for the comfort and prestige it brings us. The crazy thing is that a feeling of dissatisfaction often starts to creep in. Everything is perfect, but somewhere inside you feel that something is not right.
I thought the same thing back when my daughter was born. I didn't mind devoting 13 hours a day to clients somewhere in Northern Europe, but I didn't want to devote the same time to my daughter - an investment in my future. I did not enjoy it. After all, the little one just screams and babbles. But what is more than devoting energy to your people and your family. Those clients wouldn't even remember me after about 3 years. For that, my daughter will remember me as a dad for the rest of her life. Is it twisted? Maybe. I'm sorry? Yes. But you learn from mistakes. But I think I stopped it in time and the kids don't know me just as a character sitting at a computer or a guy constantly squinting at email on his phone.
I was recently amused by the "manager" we met at the water this summer. He shouted to the entire beach that the most important e-mails go when you are in the middle of Lipno. I guess he would also like a little recognition. And maybe it won't turn out the same for him as it did for me.
This stage of my life is defined by workaholism. I was also afraid to shut down for a while. That it can't be done without me at work. Taking a long weekend was a problem. I thought that the company couldn't manage without me and my projects wouldn't do without me. Well, then I left work one Friday and returned to work seven months later. What happened at work in the meantime? Nothing. I was replaced on projects by others, the company's shares even rose, and no one missed me. A little slap, a little insight. What have I been doing at home so far? He was learning to function in the normal world again, to walk, to talk, I relearned to be left-handed, taught my brain to think again. Which of the two options is more important for my life and in my surroundings, right?
Around 2013, social networks weren't that big yet, but I was addicted to work. I was afraid of missing something, of missing something, of keeping things moving. I was online all the time. Especially on email. There weren't clients and apps for everything yet. I logged in through a browser on a half-button phone. No honey, but it worked. In retrospect, I know it was FOMO - Fear of missing out. Fear of losing something. It is one of the tenets of the online environment that keeps us connected. Do you sometimes itch to check your messenger or email to see if anyone is writing? That's exactly what it is, FOMO.
Yes, I devoured articles at the time about how to slow down in life, how to be more efficient, how to have more time. But in practice it didn't work very well for me. Well, reading a book about it is one thing, actually putting those things into practice is another.
Then on November 8, 2014 it came. Priceless experience. Second chance? Maybe. Fate? Hard to say. And it doesn't matter, it just happened.
Stage 2 - Life with a hole in the head
I now understand that I am not immortal. I actually thought that before peppa. The fact that no matter what happens, I'll just manage somehow. But when you are lying somewhere, unable to move and waiting for any kind of help, you change your mind. I manage my time, energy and attention better now. It's simple - I want to be happy, do what I enjoy and fulfill. Maximize added value and use your potential.
I also know that if I take energy somewhere, it will be lacking somewhere else. I watch this balance. If not, my brain just shuts down and I'm KO for a few days. At best I'm just tired and grumpy, at worst I'm just sleepy and throwing up.
The interesting thing about all of this is that what I experienced is not an isolated case. Ever since I've been speaking publicly about my experience, similar stories seem to come to me, people tell me about them, and they come to me in different ways.
That's why I try to pass on what I know, what I've learned and help others. Yes, sometimes I may be too open and honest, but I also know that it has helped someone a few times. Every life counts. That's why I do it. I also use my potential, which I mentioned above in the article. Because I enjoy interacting with people, I am fascinated by the impact of technology on our real lives. And all together, it fulfills me and I really enjoy it. This is my inner motivation and we have nothing stronger in life. Yes, twenty thousand points in the cafeteria is also nice, but I don't hear that much anymore. ?
Stage 3 – Getting sober
From courses and discussions with people, I can see how big a problem our dependence on technology is. Our relationships, life satisfaction and concentration are falling apart. My friends have health complications from stress, but they don't have the time or desire to deal with them. Phones are everywhere. Next time you're at a bus stop, lift your head and look around. A lot of people are buried in their worlds in that box. Technology attracts us and it is hard for us to resist it. They are designed that way. The fact that we enjoy it is no accident. It's a purpose. There is heavy psychology behind it all. And everything is there. Comfort, well-being, friends, education, an endless stream of fun and excitement. But returning to the real world is even more difficult. And we still live in it.
Two small steps to digital freedom
Want some advice on how to approach digital freedom? Set usage limits and stick to them. If I don't have a strong enough will to do it, I use obstacles - applications that block or make access difficult for me or I simply don't have my mobile within reach all the time. Do you want a second one? Be in active mode. This means I go on the phone when I want to, not when he wants to. All you need for this is notifications turned off and the environment taught to the fact that I'm simply not available all the time on all channels. Is something burning? Text or call. I check everything else, but only in blocks - I can't constantly check WA, Messenger, email, work email, personal email, LinkedIn, Instagram and god knows what else. I wouldn't do anything else then.
By the way, in conclusion, I am sometimes asked what I would do differently. The answer is: Nothing. Everything had a meaning. Thanks to all that I have experienced, I am who I am today. I dare say that the stroke, which acted as a wake-up call / stopwatch, made me a better person. I needed that alarm clock, a lot. I would probably work myself to death without him. Yes, I had to pay for the experience. But that's how it is in life, nothing is free. And it is not for nothing that they say that we do not appreciate things until we lose them.
