What I've learned in the last two years after my stroke experience
It's been two years since I had my stroke. I think it's a good time to take stock of where I'm at. It was quite crazy and I still remember very well how I woke up in the hospital, half of my body immobile, I couldn't get up, I didn't know why and I had no idea why everyone in the family had fear in their eyes. I just remembered that everything went well after the stroke itself and I was supposed to go home after the weekend…
During those two years, my life turned upside down. I got married, Emma was born and I've been tossing and turning my rankings quite a bit.
I also had to relearn
- Walking and moving. Everything I do now is like the first time. Just to give you an idea - I used to play hockey, so I skated pretty well. Now I'm the kind of guy who slowly shuffles around the bar and keeps falling. Just for now! I'm going to work on it. That's how it is with everything. Everything I used to know I can't do anymore and I have to learn again. Whether it's cycling, windsurfing or throwing a tennis shoe.
- To move and use the right half of the body. I certainly can't say that I've completely mastered it yet. Fortunately, I have enough people who don't forget to remind me to train. :)
- Articulate so people understand what I'm saying.
Walking training in the hospital
What actually happened in a nutshell
Imagine the most beautiful sunny autumn day. It's warm, everything is great. Saturday, November 8, 2014 was exactly like that at our cottage in Hrazany. We got together with the whole family and the day just couldn't have been better. After my family left for the evening and Zuzi and I were left alone, we started preparing for the party. I say to myself, I'll go to the woodshed for firewood for the night and go to bed. Normal so far. I walk out in front of the house, lose my balance, fall, lie on my back in the darkness and silence and look at the stars. I find that I can't move and I get a really weird feeling that something is terribly wrong. At the same time, I "felt" that if I didn't get inside, I would die here.
After this examination, I somehow delivered back to the house, asked Zuzi if she would call an ambulance and waited for further help. I remember that I didn't want to solve anything, I was scared and I wanted to sleep it all off. Just fall asleep and wake up the next day to normal, as if nothing happened. Even if I hadn't done that, I definitely wouldn't have woken up back to normal. A stroke is all about time, and the first four hours decide everything.
She quickly took me to the hospital in Příbram, paradoxically to the building where I was born. A few days later in the intensive care unit with a diagnosis of stroke and countless examinations that did not show any clear cause, I was transferred to Motolo as a precaution, supposedly in case there were any complications. Neurology was supposed to be my last stop before going home. At that time I had already been in the hospital for a week, I only had the weekend and then hurray to go home. I also acted as a translator for my roommate from France and the nurse who didn't understand what he was trying to say in English. Everything has been going well so far…
After this, I woke up two weeks later, in a different place, in different clothes, with no hair, the right side of my body motionless, and a headache from the anesthetics and hallucinations that I had during the anesthesia. I had no idea what had happened or where I was. It wasn't until later that I found out from my family that I had complications that weekend and had to have surgery. The doctors removed the damaged half of my cerebellum, I was in ARO and now I am in ICU again.
I was pretty out of it and totally confused, but now, after some time and rehab, everything is (almost) back to normal. :)
What's really important - my new priority sheet
helloand – The essence of everything. Really be grateful that you can move normally and that they care about you. Take care of your body from a mental point of view (meditation and quality sleep) and from a physical point of view (regular exercise and movement, quality food). When you dispose of your current body, you cannot get a new one.
Jand – I/you come first. I like the analogy of a plane going down. You must put on the oxygen mask first before you can help others.
Family – Even if you don't choose your family, these people are the most important people in your life. So take care of them and your relationships with them.
Kamaranddi – Similar situation as with family. Only with the difference that you can choose your friends. Therefore, choose carefully and take care of them and your relationships with them. Every little thing counts!
Prandwhat but… – Work is one of the most important parts of our lives. We spend a significant amount of time there, so we should be happy during working hours, or not? Do not forget that work is not more important than health and what you do is only your decision. Are you dissatisfied? So why do you stay where you are?
What did I learn?
I've learned that losing everything I have can be incredibly fast and it's not much fun. At one point it's a beautiful November Saturday, I'm slightly hungover from the super party on Friday, I'm with my family, I feel happy, and that everything is as it should be. I am looking forward to a trip to Berlin next weekend, planning what we will do in London for Christmas. I'm figuring out what's going to happen next week at work on an important project that I enjoy. All of this disappears as I fall to the ground, lying on the ground in the dark and looking up at the stars. I know something is terribly wrong, but I don't know what. I'm just lying there, scared of the tiles, and I'm afraid I'm going to die.
A few hours later, I'm not dealing with an important project or trips. I am lying in the ICU in a hospital bed and I hope that someone will change my pheasant and bring me a piece of bread for breakfast in the morning. No one warned me that something like this would happen, I had no time to prepare.
But not to be negative: I evaluated this stroke as one of the best things that ever happened to me. Really! It's a great experience to try to be disabled and hard-stop to think about my life and whether I'm really living the way I want to live. It must be said that I was incredibly lucky and not everyone is lucky. I meet a gentleman who has fared much worse and he certainly wouldn't say it was the best thing that ever happened to him.
My "old" life was more like a rat race, very hectic and full of stress. I try to relax a lot more now, enjoy every moment, every conversation and stay focused on what's really important to me.
I know the experience is incommunicable, but please try to remember this story when you feel really exhausted. Any serious health problem is a stop sign, the body's last resort to tell you that it has had enough and that something is wrong. You can stop and think or change something even before such a stop sign even comes. Anyway, every such change is of course not an easy thing.
Thank you for reading this far. Any feedback or comments would be greatly appreciated. The easiest is probably to write me an email at lukas.barda@gmail.com
